2021年1月9日雅思G类大作文考题分析

　　2021年1月9日雅思G类大作文考题分析   2021年1月9日雅思G类（大陆笔试）大作文考题为：

　　Nowadays people are moving to big cities. What are the reasons for it? Is it a good thing or bad thing？

　　审题：2-part题型，全文结构采用四段式，开头改述+简单给出个人观点，主体段每段回应一个写作任务，结尾段简单重申个人观点。需要注意的是，第一问的reasons是复数，要写两个以上的原因才是充分回应了写作任务。

　　范文：以下范文批改分析来自eltecenglish（为方便阅读，组长做过加工），原文可点击页面左下方到达。

图片来源网络

　　With a rapid increase in urbanization, the infrastructure and job opportunities in cities are superior and people prefer to migrate to these areas. I believe it has an adverse effect on individuals.

　　组长解析：第一句改述题目并回应第一个写作任务，比较巧妙，第二句回应第二个写作任务。整个开头段简洁明了，观点清晰，语言准确。

　　People migrate to distant places (这个短语不是urban areas的同义替换，影响LR分数) in search of work. It not only provides them a high salary, but also various facilities (句式错误，应改为It provides them not only higher salary but also various facilities) such as exclusive insurance package for themselves and their families, and a cab to commute to the office. This helps them feel comfortable and secured, and also encourages other people to migrate. Furthermore, residential places (这个短语不是urban areas的同义替换，影响LR分数) have better infrastructure compared to lousy buildings in rural areas. A plethora of recreational activities are also present in them which keeps keep the a person entertained and motivated at the same time. It also helps They also help the person to stay fit.

　　组长解析：由于开头段已经点明了2个原因，这一段直接从第一个原因说起。前三句说明原因1，先是给出论点，然后用列举的方式充分解释了城市工作的吸引力，最后说明了对人有什么好处，逻辑完整、清晰。后三句说明原因2，先是用对比的方式给出观点，然后拓展解释。

　　On the flip side, this trend has an adverse impact on a person. It weakens the family relations since, people shift to places far away from their parents. Though they talk to their parents daily, they often hide their true feelings and ignore the needs of their parents. For instance, a recent study at Harvard University revealed that 90 percent of people who lives live in urban cities (urban和city是重复的概念，保留一个即可) prefer to hire a nurse for their parents and often fail to understand that their parents need their a child to be with them instead of a caretaker. (这部分有两个问题，一是代词指代不清，这部分的主语是people who live in cities，后文的代词是在指代parents，这会造成混淆。二是论述不清晰，只说了住在城市的人雇人照顾父母，没有呼应前文提到的“父母住得远”)

　　例子修改如下：For instance, since migrating to Shanghai from a nearby rural area, I rarely get time to visit my parents who live alone in the village ancestral house. This has compelled them to rely on a caretaker and they suffer from various psychological issues due to a long separation from their children.

　　组长解析：回应第二个写作任务，中心句阐明观点，接下来使用让步、举例的方式拓展解释。修改后的例子与观点的关系更密切、解释更充分。

　　To recapitulate, though a high-rise building and a comfortable and secure lifestyle attract a person to urban cities, it impacts the family relations. People often fail to understand the needs of their parents during old age.

　　组长解析：用恰当的方式改述了个人立场，再次回应了2个写作任务。