雅思大作文范文分析-老龄化

　　老龄化是雅思大作文话题之一，​遇到这样的题目应该怎么做呢？这里我们就送上一份高分素材，帮助各位雅思考生了解应该从何入手，做出高分答案！更多雅思写作高分素材请持续关注环球教育！以下搬运前考官Simon关于老龄化的范文并进行分析，供大家学习参考。

　　题目：In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

　　审题：审题即读懂题目并确定要写什么。题目给出了背景“发达国家人均寿命在上升”，写作任务有2个“对个人和社会会造成什么问题”“采取什么措施来减少人口老龄化的影响”。要围绕这三个部分来构思ideas、替换表达、组织段落。

　　范文：

　　It is true that people in industrialised nations can expect to live longer than ever before. Although there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences of this trend, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems.

　　解析：开头段改述题目背景并初步回应写作任务。第一句改述背景，第二句回应两个写作任务。语法方面使用了it句，although，there be。下划线为常用表达。话题相关同义替换整理如下：

　　As people live longer and the populations of developed countries grow older,several related problems can be anticipated. The main issue is that there will obviously be more people of retirement age who will be eligible to receive a pension. The proportion of younger, working adults will be smaller, and governments will therefore receive less money in taxes in relation to the size of the population. In other words, an ageing population will mean a greater tax burden for working adults. Further pressures will include a rise in the demand for healthcare, and the fact young adults will increasingly have to look after their elderly relatives.

　　解析：主体段1回应第一个写作任务。采用总分结构，中心句引出问题，然后用4句话谈论了3方面的问题，包括个人和社会——这是有些考生会在构思和写作过程中忽略的问题，写作任务是“对个人和社会造成的问题”，因此一定要从这两个方面能去思考ideas。下划线为固定表达或连接短语。语法方面使用了状语从句、被动语态、比较级、复合句、将来时等。话题相关表达整理如下：

　　in the developed world=the populations of developed countries

　　老龄化= people live longer = populations grow older = ageing population

　　退休/领退休金=people of retirement age = be eligible to receive a pension

　　年轻人减少=The proportion of younger, working adults will be smaller

　　政府税收减少 = governments will therefore receive less money in taxes

　　医疗需求增加=a rise in the demand for healthcare

　　从写作思路来看，Simon从显而易见的事实入手，即老龄化=老年人增加和年轻人减少，这样一分为二的思考可以延伸出相关的ideas，在写作过程中也可以展示话题相关词汇的丰富性，比如年轻人可以用younger adults, working adults, young adults。关于某个现象引起的问题，可以从“变化”的角度去思考，比如文中提到的，老年人增加，即领退休金的人增加；年轻人减少，造成政府相应税收减少；老年人增加，年轻人更加需要照顾老年亲属。这样的审题思路，可以用于类似题目，围绕话题相关的人和趋势变化来构思写作。

　　There are several actions that governments could take to solve the problems described above.Firstly, a simple solution would be toincrease the retirement age for working adults, perhaps from 65 to 70. Nowadays, people of this age tend to be healthy enough to continue a productive working life. A second measure would be for governments to encourage immigration in order to increase the number of working adults who pay taxes. Finally, money from national budgets will need to be taken from other areas and spent on vital healthcare, accommodation and transport facilities for the rising numbers of older citizens.

　　解析：主体段2回应第二个写作任务。采用总分结构，中心句承上启下概括本段内容。三个分论点也都是常识：延迟退休，鼓励移民，相应的经费投入。下划线为常用表达。语法方面准确使用了各种情态动词，从句，句子成分丰富而结构紧凑。话题相关表达整理如下：

　　延长退休年龄：increase the retirement age……， from 65 to 70

　　有能力工作更长时间：be healthy enough to continue a productive working life

　　增加纳税人数量： increase the number of working adults who pay taxes

　　老龄化的替换表达：the rising numbers of older citizen

　　In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as the populations of countries grow older.

　　解析：结尾段概括全文，Simon用一句话整合了两个写作任务，是写紧凑句子的典范，G友们可以反复阅读这个句子，分析句子成分，学习写作方法。

　　in the developed world people in industrialised nations

　　average life expectancy is increasingcan expect to live longer than ever before

　　problemssome negative consequences of this trend

　　some measures that could be taken to reduce the impaccan take steps to mitigate these potential problems